Better Words

I've been gone for a while, because I haven't been able to put words together. All the things that I begin to write down, have nothing to do with what I have been doing so I've been at a total standstill. I thought perhaps using someone else's eloquent words would be a smarter choice:)

Hard Reset

I hope everyone has a wonderful Fourth of July!

Personally, I will be taking time next week to try and reset my brain. Its no secret that I have been very out of sorts this year. The passing of my father was only the beginning of what has been one of the most difficult times of my life. Honestly, it has been so trying and overwhelming at times, that I couldn't think of how to share it on my blog. That is why I have been away so much. Facing other health problems in my family, issues in my marriage, and frustrating professional dealings have left me truly spent. Trying to be creative has been the last thing on my mind.
On the other hand, I have learned many, many things too! For one, I realize how short life is and we should make the most of it, everyday. I also realize how much I have changed the last couple of years. I am not the same person. Most of my priorities have transformed before my eyes. Mostly, I have let go of the hold material things had on my life. Objects and "status symbols" mean very little to me anymore. That is another issue w/ this blog, its difficult to keep writing about furniture and shopping; when I really don't care about it much. I also struggle with pretending to care! At this point, what I really care about is the well being of my family, healing past wounds, caring for others, and expressing my creativity in a way that truly comes from my soul...and I really don't know what that means right now. I'm trying to figure it out.
For months, I've been debating whether I should share all this. I mean most readers want to see article about interior design for goodness sakes! Then it occurred to me that I began this site as a way to express my thoughts and ideas that I often have to keep to myself, because there is no room for them in my day to day. So, that's what I'm doing!! I will be taking this blog in a more personal and introspective direction, because that's where I am right now. Not to say, that I won't write about design; because it is still something I love. Except, design has changed for me. I'm no longer interested in designing rooms or homes that I can brag about or that exist to "impress" others. I want design to be an expression and refuge for the soul. I dream of homes becoming an extension of the owner's inner person, w/out regard to trends and pedigree. Yes, I do realize how crazy this can sound, but its what I feel.
So, I hope that all of you can forgive my current self-examination and self-questioning. Maybe I'm not the only one feeling like this and maybe some of you understand perfectly what I'm saying. So, as you can see I even neutralized the blog title on format. What was there doesn't really represent me anymore, but I'm still not sure what does. That's why I decided to sort of take away everything until I know what I want. Man, all of this sounds crazier than I thought! Crazy or not, I felt I needed to say it here. Think of me what you will, but I wanted to be honest. OK, that's all for now. Thanks for reading this all the way through and I will be back soon:)

Carolina

Woke Up Singing

Even with another hurricane looming around the corner, I woke up singing "Shiny Happy People". I can't get it out of my head today, so I thought some of you might need a shiny, happy moment for yourselves:)

A Year's Worth Of Time

A year later and I still don't feel much better about this. Although, today is the first time I've been able to listen to Man in the Mirror all the way through with out tears so, maybe there is some improvement.

I'm Making Big Changes!

So we have finally made the decision to move। In fact, school districts have forced us into the decision, but I don't care because I've been ready for a change!! So, currently I am in the process of preparing the house to put on the market and to somehow de-personalize my very, VERY personal space. Wish me luck!

Livin' La Dolce Vita

Photo via So Ninion

I'm very excited today! The lovely Paloma of La Dolce Vita invited me to be part of her "10 Things I Can't Live Without" series. This couldn't have come at a better time, because I've been in such a blogging funk. Sitting and writing about what really matters to me is a great way to get my creative juices flowing again. So, check me out here! 

Moving Right Along

This week marks Liam's 5th birthday! I'm having trouble adjusting to not having a "baby" around, anymore. He's growing and changing so much. Thanks to Grandma, he now has his own car to drive. Yikes! This things is so big, it needs its own garage. Thanks Mom, I think.
Speaking of growing up, at his birthday party I saw him holding hands with one of his little girl friends! Yes! For a second I thought I saw my life flashing in front of me...my baby!!!! Just last week he told me he was "in love" with a different little girl. Help me, Lord!

I Needed This!

I need all the laughs I can get lately. Since last week I have been laughing at "Pants on the Ground", along w/ a lot of America, but now Jimmy Fallon takes it to another level.
I love it!

Thank You, Thank You!

Photo via WTL Photos

I wanted to thank all of you for your words of encouragement and for your prayers after my dad's passing. We are back home and working on moving forward. I'm going to admit that I'm not feeling overly creative right now. Mostly, I'm trying to keep moving one step at a time. I'm also trying to catch up on everything I've been neglecting for the last few weeks. So, for now; I don't have much to say. Thankfully, I'm slowly starting to see the light again.

Thanks again
Carolina

Total Freedom

Today my Daddy found freedom from his tortured body. Despite our sadness, we are thankful that he is finally at peace. Now I keep wondering what a daddy's girl is supposed to do when her daddy is gone. My Papi was the original eccentric I loved. Growing up in Mexico he was known in his town as "El Loco" (The crazy one) because he had the most unusual ideas and point of view. When I was a kid, I didn't always understand what motivated him, but as I grow older I find I am more and more like him. In fact, he is one of my main creative inspirations. He was a true individual. He was honest and tough, and had a wickedly sharp wit. Everyday, I aspire to be like him. I have to admit that it will be difficult to keep up a creative and positive outlook now that he is gone, but I also know that would be contradictory who he was. I know he would want me to keep being positive and keep finding humor in this bizarre world we live in.
Thanks to all of you for your kind words and prayers. I can't describe what they mean to me.

My Papi

I have always been my Daddy's little girl. I have never stopped calling him Papi, because I know how much it means to him. His name is Natividad, because he was born on Christmas day and he has suffered from Parkinson's disease for almost 30 years. That is an incredible amount of time for anyone with that condition, but I think its due to his incredible determination and faith. The last few weeks have been very difficult for him and I think he's ready to quit fighting. I am on my way to see him now and I'm not real sure when I will be back. I can barely write this so it will be short. I just ask that he may be in your prayers.
Thank you, I know I have many friends out there and I appreciate your care.
Carolina

Sick Day

Liam and I have both been sick this weekend. Its been up to poor Mark to take care of us both. I'm not sure which one of us this photo better represents? Anyway, not much to say today.

Holiday Blues

I'm not the only one who struggles with depression throughout the holidays, right? Why is that? I really try to enjoy Christmas time, but mostly it seems to bring me down. I hate that, but its the truth. Sorry to be such a downer today. Its just that its difficult for me not to be honest. My faith pushes me to be more positive and to invite good things into my life, but its a struggle at this time of year. I always feel like I haven't done enough for everyone and another year has slipped by. I don't have enough time to send out Christmas cards and take Liam to see Santa. I usually am scrambling at the last minute to finish buying gifts that I really can't afford, but feel guilty if I don't. Ahhhh! I want Christmas to be about my faith in Christ. I get frustrated that people refuse to acknowledge Christianity as the source of "Christmas" and yet my life doesn't seem to acknowledge that either! I mean what right do I have to complain?! I don't believe in expecting other people to do things I don't do. I have to say that I'm pretty fed up with these feelings I struggle with. (I'm only writing this, because it helps me when I get it all out). My life has to change. I already have been changing many things and will share them after the New Year.

You may be wondering what in the world these photos have to do with what I'm writing. Well, I posted them for purely selfish reasons. Basically, they make me happy! I needed a jolt of sunshine and fun and these photos have that, don't you think? I found them via Living Etc.

10 Years Ago Today!

(Mark and Me in the good ole' 90's)

Was the day Mark and I got married! I'm a little bit in shock, that its been that long. I still think of myself as a kid, but kids aren't married for 10 years! Of course, I know we are so blessed to have become a family and we have defied the odds. Marriage isn't always easy, but I don't know where I would be without my wonderful husband. Here's to MANY more:)

Love you, Darling!!

Top Of The World!

My brother sent me this AWESOME video, today. If you are a true-blue movie lover, like I am; I know you will appreciate this collection of famous movie quotes. I think it pretty much covers all of my favorites. I titled this post after my favorite quote and all time favorite movie "White Heat". (Made it Ma, top of the world!) I also want to dedicate all Top Gun and Caddyshack quotes to my husband:)

You Can Believe I Was There!

I wouldn't miss this for anything in the world, so Mark and I went to see "This Is It" over the weekend. I can say that it was amazing! Perhaps, it help bring a little bit of closure too, I mean it was an incredible tribute. I loved being able to see that despite the craziness that surrounded Michael Jackson in his last years, he never stopped being the INCREDIBLE performer. Even Mark, who has never been a MJ fan; loved seeing the behind-the-scenes angle and how in control of every detail MJ was. True genius! If you are as much of a fan as I am, I recommend seeing this. It was great to be in a theater full of other fans, too! People would clap and cheer after every song, wave their hands in the air during the ballads, and gave a standing ovation at the end of the film. It was great:)

Happy, Happy Birthday!

(lamps via: Decor 8 and chandelier via 1st dibs)

To me!! Yay!
I am one of those obnoxious persons who likes to tell everyone about my birthday! You know I want to wear a big button on my shirt that talks about it, or a birthday tiara. When I was a kid I never understood why I didn't get an automatic day off from school on my special day!
So, I am going to tell all of you about it today. Ha, ha! I am turning the big 34! It freaks me out a bit, because I've always imagined the threshold for being a "mature adult" as turning 35. Now I only have one year to really get my act together. Aahhh, I don't know if I'm ready!
To celebrate, I put together a wish list of gifts, for myself. I thought some of you might enjoy it also:)

(Top left: Billy Reid Bottom left: Nivaldo de Lima Right:Shrimpton Couture )

Terry Graziano

I would take anything and everything from this shop. It was a struggle to keep it down to only three!
Funny enough, this month also marks the second anniversary of my blog. I am reminded how much I have loved getting to know so many wonderful people via this site. I appreciate all of you who stop in to check on me everyday:) I hope to keep writing this for a long time and I hope to get to know all of you more and more.
So thanks everyone!

If Anything Can Go Wrong...

It probably will, and at the most inopportune moment. You know that saying, right? Uh, well that describes my week, quite well. I feel bad about not posting anything for an entire week, sorry everyone:(
Where to begin, about my week? First it started with no cable or internet for a couple of days. That alone is traumatic, let me tell you!! My lovely husband decided to move the cable connections around and told me the cable would be down for "a few minutes". Well, 3 or 4 hours later, we figured out that it was not coming back! Of course, at that point it was already evening, so when we tried to call for help we could only reach people with accents that are very difficult to understand, and who didn't really help in any way. So the three of us came to the harsh realization that there would be no vegging to our favorite shows and no internet surfing either. Aahhh! No reruns of The Office, no Dora the Explorer, no Twittering, emailing, blogging, NADA! Have you tried doing that lately? Its very hard, let me tell you.
Well, the next morning Mark calls me and says I need to expect a call from the repair man and I need to be at home. He is set to call at 9:00 in the morning. So I have just enough time to get Liam to school and rush back home. Around 10:30, I'm still waiting for the call and start worrying about the things I'm not getting done. At lunch time, I decide not to wait anymore, and gather all my things and start to walk out the door. Guess what happens at that moment? Yeah, my phone rings! The "9:00" call comes in at 11:45. So, I answer and you know what sage advice the technician has for me? "Why don't you unplug the box for a few minutes and then plug it back in". Like we hadn't already tried that about 30 times!!!! Since his technical help went nowhere, he now wanted to send a repairman. As I'm listening to this, I'm thinking "I've already wasted half of the day, now they're asking me to waste the other half. On the other hand, if I don't wait for them today; I will get to go through this process again tomorrow". I really didn't have a choice. Finally, by about 4:00 everything was up and running again and I was quick to remind Mark to let the experts move the connections around, for all of our sakes:)
After those two days, I spent a couple of days trying to catch up on work that couldn't get done sans an internet connection. I didn't realize how few people I actually speak to, or see in person. I do everything via my computer. Its kind of sad actually. I have also been trying to find flu shots for Liam, (everyone is running out), planning family affairs, blah, blah, blah. Sigh...what I really hate is that I never posted my Round Top photos. I am very happy with them, but they seem a little irrelevant now:( Here is a small peek. I will go ahead and post them on my Flickr site tomorrow...but again, I gotta run!
Happy Friday!

Our Favorite Sing-Along

Lately, Liam and I love singing to this song as we drive around town.

A Word Of Thanks

If you're wondering, yes; this is a re-post. I've never done this before, but I just wanted thank all of you for your comments. It reminds me of one my favorite things about blogging, kinship. So many of you mentioned cutting out pictures and ideas and then cataloging them in some manner. I didn't mention this in my original article (See Below), but that is something I do too. Now I say I do it for "my work", but lets face it. I also do it for fun, just like I have been doing since I was 10 or 11 years old. Sometimes I think I should outgrow that habit but haven't yet. I just love hearing from all of you who love saving all those pretty pictures for as long as possible. So again, thanks everyone:)

XO

Carolina

As I continue my efforts to renew inspiration, I decided to clear out mental and physical clutter. Last week, I attacked my closet and this weekend I attacked my magazine stash (gasp!)
I clear out old issues once or twice a year, but its usually only a handful. This time, I decided to be ruthless!! It wasn't easy, but I made a big dent. Now, I would like to say I got rid of half of my magazines, but that would be exaggerating. I can say I cleared out about 1/3 of the stash. I'm quite proud of myself! Now don't worry, I did drag all the mags to recycling. Lucky for me I had a very strong assistant:)

(Note: No back issues of Domino were harmed during this process)